Where is Turkeybend?

What are we going to do without his weekly power rankings?

Probably thinking of how to justify ranking the Riders at the # 1 spot.

I was wanting a good laugh after yesterday's game and seeing how he put the Rider's there would have done that.

[url=http://www.cbc.ca/sports/football/story/2011/07/04/spf-cfl-power-rankings-wk1.html]http://www.cbc.ca/sports/football/story ... s-wk1.html[/url]

Here's the link to the CFL power rankings for week 1. Hope to hear from the Turkeybend.


Nothing beats Turkey's rankings. :thup:

Despite the Stamps losing, I think they should be ranked higher. Everything else looks pretty accurate based on week 1.

I'm thinking a bottle of Wild Turkey may have something to do with his absense.

He hasn't posted here since early November, 2010. Does anyone who knows him have any idea why he left?

Around the last time he was seen....

He generally doesn’t post in the off-season.

I know that but he has usually come out of hibernation by now. It's ranking time!

True, but perhaps, something happened last november that was so traumatic that he doesn't want to come back.

Anybody remember anything that would fit that description? :stuck_out_tongue:

I was just responding to Blue Blood. He didn't "leave," he just doesn't post during the off-season. I'm not sure why he hasn't returned yet. Real life, maybe...

Turkeybend, I miss you.

Actually other than his forgivable Riders bias he had really good rankings.

Turkeybend has the best sense of humour, I love it, and miss him.

If you are out there, Turkey, gobble your way back to us!

In the meantime, I will make a sad and pathetic gesture and attempt to be the Dinwiddie to his Durant....

This Week's Hit Em Hard Stand in Turkey Rankings....

1. Saskatchewan Roughriders
This week the Riders showed perfect execution of their plan to lull the rest of the league into a false sense of security. Closer analysis shows, though, that the Green Machine has potential, and that alone is enough to put them at the top of the heap. Lets not forget, also, that the Riders are leading the league in several statistical categories, such as interceptions and beer sales! Way to go Riders!

2. Edmonton Eskimos
By virtue of their shellacking of the Defending Western Champs, and the fact that they are alone in 1st place in the West, the Eskimos have risen to the much-vaunted number 2 spot! It must be mentioned that the Esk's GM is the man who brought success to the Riders, so the sudden improvement in the Great White North should not be a surprise. Oh, and the trifling detail that Ricky Ray put on a clinic, and his O-Line gave him the time to do it. Ray also had another benefit this year that has been lacking in the past...multiple targets to throw to. Its a lot easier to toss a ball to a guy when you think he can actually catch it. Duval is still inconsistent, but that won't hurt them as much now that they have an offense.

3. Montreal Alouettes
The Beast of the East continues to rely on Anthony Calvillo, who in turn appears to rely on some form of superpowers. Overcoming major health problems in a single bound, Calvillo lit up the Lions in the 1st half this last week. While Buono's squad may have slowed the Als' offense in the second, the Partridge Family's defense bent but did not break, and held on for the win. The Argos may be able to close the gap on the Als this year, but not enough to take the title away from them.

4. Toronto Argonauts
It was a very close call between Toronto and Calgary for this week's rankings, with Toronto getting the nod by virtue of their win. Barker is a solid coach, and his team appears to be buying what he is selling. If he can keep his quarterback on track with his development, the Argos could be the next Great Eastern Power once someone finally puts some Kryptonite in Calvillo's cheerios. But they are not there yet. There have been arguments made that a successful team in the Center Of The Universe is not compulsory for the success of the CFL, but it certainly wouldn't hurt the league, either. I think Barker can mold these guys into a winner.

5. Calgary Stampeders
Behind Toronto by virtue of their loss this week. Smilin' Hank isn't the choke artist/interception machine that he was in his Regina days. He still has a million-dollar arm, and his 5-cent head has been seriously upgraded in recent years (photographic lapses in judgement aside). While Browner will be missed on the defensive side of the ball, I think there is still enough talent there to be formidable. The key to the Stamps' success this year could be to make sure that Burris stays healthy, at least until Tate returns. If Bishop has to play, then all bets are off.

6. Winnipeg Blue Bombers
There is a lot more parity in the league this year, and, unlike last year, I don't believe that the 6 through 8 spots are "also rans". Every one of these teams can, and will, win against better teams. Aside from Montreal and (obviously) Saskatchewan, I think every other team will see at least one week in a bottom three spot in the HEH Substitute Turkey rankings. Since I am the one making the rankings at the moment, that seems a safe bet.

Winnipeg gets spot number 6 by virtue of their win. Plain and simple. Had they lost, or BC won, these teams are all so close that the bottom 5 are almost a toss up, especially this early in the season. Kudos to Buck Pierce for taking a big shot and getting up. It won't silence his critics, but it might quiet them for a week.

7. BC Lions
Its probably my worst kept secret that I am a closet Lions hater, so this pains me. But the Western Cats put up a better game against Montreal than many expected, and almost pulled it out. Had they not had such a slow start, they could be a lot higher in the rankings, and will likely move up considerably as the season progresses. Buono's teams have a history of slow starts of late, but do tend to come on and make strong runs after Labour Day. Lulay is strong, and still has a ton of solid targets. The O-Line can't possibly be worse than last year, and has, in fact, shown great improvement. The combination of targets and time could make Lulay as dangerous as Ray. Maybe more so, given how difficult Lulay can be to bring down when he runs. On the defensive side, well, they shut down the mighty Als in the second half, so not much more needs to be said.

8. Hamilton Tiger Cats
Don't despair, Cats fans! Parity will rear its head and roar in your direction eventually. It just didn't do it this week. Glenn needs to get his head out of his rear and back on his shoulders, and quit acting like Casey Printers, in order to lead this team back on track. Once that happens, these guys have as good a shot as anybody. As I said earlier, this year I do not believe there are any "also rans"

TURKEYBEND...please come back. I cannot do this to the standard that you have set, and this pale imitation of your rankings is a poor substitute indeed.

Speaking words of "WISDOM" = there will be an answer: Let it Be.............
hit-em-hard :rockin: and thus; bend the Turkey.

Good work Hit-em-hard. You did catch the Turkeybend spirit with your rankings - especially with your insightful observation about the Rider's "lull 'em to sleep" strategy.

hit-em-hard that was very turkey like. Very good imitation.