Top 10 reasons why I should be the next CFL Commissioner

  1. I’d be willing to do the job for less than Tom Wright’s $400,000/year salary, say at $395,000/yr. That would save the league $5,000 per year allowing them to either hire seeing eye dogs for the refs or buy donuts for the BOG meetings.

  2. I can spell “CFL? (but not “Saskatchewan?)

8 ) I lack both ambition and vision, meaning I’d be no deterrent to Braley or Wettenhall getting their way at BOG meetings.

  1. I’d install call display at CFL HQ, allowing me to screen any calls coming from “Glieberman B&L?

  2. My inability to add numbers without mechanical aid (and even then it’s iffy) makes me the perfect person to ensure the Eskimos are under the Salary Cap

  3. I rarely vacation outside of the country, so I’d be in my office to ignore any crises.

  4. I have a pulse

  5. My short term memory will allow me to carry on the proud tradition of inconsistent suspending of players.

  6. I feel I can build on the league’s successes. Since Labour Day weekend is the most exciting weekend of the season, with the highest tv ratings and attendance of the season, under my regime, all regular season games will be played on Labour Day weekend.

  7. I’d be perfectly comfortable in fulfilling the desired duties of the Commissioner, as set out by the BOG. I can shut up, mind my own business and show up on Grey Cup day to hand over the trophy.

Wow! Ok hold on lemme just find a pen and a napkin so I can write you up a contract!

Hey there Horus, you forgot another good reason why you'd be a good commish: you'd attend every Blue Jay game and be a season ticket holder as long as Paul Godfrey stops telling everyone "the NFL is coming to Toronto real soon, the NFL is coming to Toronto real soon, it's going to happen, wow, unreal..."

Do you also have nice curly hair?

My vote goes to Horus! for the next commissioner, we should start some sort of petition or something.... how could the BOG find a better candidate??

I'll second the motion !

Hey Horus, I’d like to be your “personal assistant”. For a lousy $150,000 a Season I’ll fetch the donuts and open your beers. A heads up though; I require at least 2 hours every afternoon to do “important” stuff like this !

No, I just decided that with a name like Beaverballs, well, the Commish job is yours my man. Good name.

I'm also applying for the job of commissioner :lol:

Earl, maybe they can be co-commissioners, take turns making the donut runs etc.

How bout Associate Commissioners..... that sounds pretty alright..

Just so you know Beaverballs, my favourite beer is...cold.

Got my vote!! :wink:

Hey, can I be a co commissioner?

No. You are not allowed anywhere near a CFL rulebook.

who said I was going to change the rules immeditly? I want my preseason game.

dang it.

Unfortunately, for the purposes of job security, as Commissioner I would be unable to suggest any rule/schedule/ratio changes. One of the governors may interpret any effort on my part to improve the league as infringing on their domain as a team owner and immediately work to have me removed from office.

you, or I, or anybody can at least put the idea out there for discussion, that’s always one step in a staircase. I would also subject a few things from teams, and gain more money to them if they do it.