The Hamlet Tiger-Cats, Act I

CHUCKLES <staring at a Mountaineer helmet he holds aloft in his left hand, arm extended>:

To be, or not to be--that is the question: oh damn, my cell is ringing. It's Peters...I'll mute it

Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles
And by opposing end them. To die, to sleep--
No more--and by a sleep to say we end
The heartache, and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to. Like my son, heir to a Mountaineer pocket if I can help it...damn, that thread is up to 200 pages and they are issuing pitchforks!!

Anyway, 'Tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wished. To die, to sleep--
To sleep--perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub, I can only "sleep on this" like Obie says for only a week? Damn!

For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause. There's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life. Or a 3-15 season.

For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
Th' oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely
The pangs of despised love, the law's delay,
The insolence of office, and the spurns
That patient merit of th' unworthy takes. I thought decoupling would be quicker!

When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? Who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscovered country, from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will,
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?

Bodkin, Fardels? Aren't they redshirt freshmen O-linemen for U Va? Where was I...

Thus conscience does make cowards of us all,
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprise of great pitch and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry
And lose the name of action.

To Do List for today....hmmmm, find Jed Clampett Fathead for my bunker...check.

Soft you now,
The fair Obie...I mean Ophelia! -- Nymph, in thy orisons
Be all my sins remembered.

Don't worry, Charlie. These pages do get archived.

Oski Wee Wee,

Dam Russ.. :lol: :slight_smile:

Where is Onemorefork when we need him??? :lol:

1.Much Ado About Nothing
2.A Mid-Winter's (Summer's)Dream
3.As You (Don't) Like it
4.Macbeth - "Hubble, bubble, toil and trouble,
Fir burn and Cauldron Bubble"
- "out, out, damned spot! Out, I say."
This is such a great melodrama, we could probably have a huge thread with all the quotations from classical literature, or modern rock lyrics, that seem appropriate for this farce. Let's get on it, there isn't a whole lot better to do, and it's more fun than repeated speculations.
Regardless, I am now getting the entertainment I missed the last few years!!

"Who's Next" - "Meet the new boss, same as the old boss"

Apparently..." We Will Get Fooled Again."

I thought our saga had shut down there for a sec -- Google Alerts just sent me an alert stating Obie had retained Taaffe...but that was for a article in mid-December about the initial retention. LOL

Okay, back to irregular programming. :wink:

Oski Wee Flee,

I love Act 1, Russ and I enjoyed the way you incorporated some of Shakespear's "Julius Caesar" into it. This was always my favourite and I think it may apply here too.
Et tu, Brute!


something tells me zontar might know.

Since we Quoting Willie Shakespeare
I Thought Bring Quite that Fits our Conundrum

King Richard III

“Now is the winter of our discontent”. - (Act I, Scene I

As You Like It

“All the world 's a stage, and all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and their entrances; And one man in his time plays many parts” - (Act II, Scene VII).

“Fair is foul, and foul is fair”. - (Act I, Scene I)Mcbeth

It might be more Hollywood than Hamlet. Below is a conversation overheard at the recent College Coaches Meeting (with apologies to Frank Capra):

Charlie Taaffe: "Now what's your point, Mr. Stewart."

Mr. Stewart (WVU): " My point? My point is, I want to hire you."

Charlie: "Hire me?"

Mr. Stewart: "I want you to manage my quarterbacks, run my offence. Charlie, I'll start you out at three hundred thousand dollars a year."

Charlie (dropping his cigar):"Three hun...three hundred thousand dollars a year?"

Mr. Stewart: "You wouldn't mind living in the nicest house in the town, buying your wife a lot of fine clothes, a couple of away games to other colleges, maybe once in a while a Bowl game. You wouldn't mind that, would you Charlie?"

Charlie: "Would I! You're not talking to somebody elese around here, are you? This is me, you remember me, Charlie Taaffe?"

Mr. Stewart: "Oh, yes, Charlie Taaffe. Whose ship has just come in - providing he has brains enough to climb aboard."

Charlie: "Well, what about the Tiger-Cats?"

Mr. Stewart: "Oh, confound it man, are you afraid of success? I'm offering you a three year contract at three hundred thousand dollars a year, starting today. Is it a deal or isn't it?"

(Charlie goes home to think about it.)

Good references. ONknight.

I makes sense that you refer to Shakespeare.

This is a melodrama but also tragedy.

The diabolical scheme that
I posted in the BIG thread

falls short of extracting
a pound of flesh from Charlie

but the idea of him
swinging in the wind
gives me great pleasure.

In case you want to read it, Russ,
I will save you the time finding it.

Here it is

If we don't let him go

WVU will just look for somebody else
to be their offensive co-ordinator,

then, if WVU doesn't hire him

Scott and Obie could pretend
to welcome him back
through their clenched teeth

and bide their time until
WVU hires another O.C.

then, buy Charlie out

and introduce the new Head Coach
we have waiting in the wings.

Short of extracting a pound of flesh
from Charlie for destroying

all the good vibes coming from

the recent hirings of Obie
and the new co-ordinators,

that's my way of getting revenge,

completely unrealistic but
a lot of fun thinking it up. :smiley:

Depending on who the replacement is I think this could be a blessing for the Ticats. There are issues with last season's team that are clearly at Taafe's feet.

1- The ongoing lack of discipline on the field.

2- The lack of improvement by most players over the course of the season. Many actually regressed.

3- The poor evaluation of Chang vs Williams.

4- How long it took Williams to get a shot.

5- His choice of assistants.

Considering the amount of changes this off season replacing Taafe is a drop in the bucket and something that should have happened when Desjardins was let go anyway.

If Charlie doesn’t end up here,

at least Obie had time to
go over film with Charlie

and get his evaluation of
the players on the roster.

but on the other hand, Charlie
chose our asssistant coaches.

They are not so easy to get rid of
if our new co-ordinators really
would like some guys they know.

Obilovitch might decide to coach for one season. Might not be a bad idea to show some improvments on the field and look at hiring a coach from the outside next season. Should he decide to hire there as never been as many good candidates to pick from. I can't believe a guy like Higgins is unemployed


Look: I do not begrudge Taaffe trying to find a better gig for himself. What I do not understand is how he got anywhere near WVU campus without a good Charlie popping up on his shoulder and at least tell the Cats in advance about what was occurring.

Or better: sticking to the task he had been retained for.

The timing blows chunks to be blunt.

Let's be clear: being Taaffed is not the same as being Petrinoed. "I'm not leaving" followed by an exit with only a FORM LETTER hanging in each player's locker WITH THREE GAMES LEFT IN THE SEASON FFS...that is far, far worse in my eyes than what we've seen here.

I do wish Charlie well. I just hope he never betrays a fanbase's trust again. I believe he's done that even if it's been a mix of sighing, inner reflection, melodramatic phone tagging with Canuck scribes, and silly buggering something that could have been broached directly if he's got his heart set on going.

Oski Wee Wee,

Boy, do I feel bad. Shakespeare on the board and not only didn't I start it... I haven't even participated. I'm in the middle of a huge project and havn't taken ANY time off for several days. No time now either so let me just say

Shall I compare Taafe to a summer's day?
Thou art more lively and more disloyal
Rough winds do shake the darling Cats in January,
And summer's games are all too far away:
Sometime too bright the gold of moving shines,
And so now is our joy'd complexion dimm'd;
And every fair from fair sometime decines,
By chance or nature's changing course untrimm'd;
But thy record of last season shall not fade,
Nor lose possession of that pain thou ownest;
Now shall Bob not brag thou walk on his dear turf,
When to Virginia West in South thou goest:
So long as fans can breath, or eyes can see,
So long Charles Taafe, and this gives boot to thee.

The Beatles' "A Day in the Life" should be perfect for this:
(Start): I read the news today, oh boy, about a lucky man who....................

Please continue.

Merlin :wink:

Or, how about.....

" the Continuing Story of Bunglalot (fill in name)"

"He went out TIGER hunting with .......
"In case of accidents he always took his....
"He's the All-American.........

I thought with a 99% Chance that Charlie has left
it was time for More Quotes From Willie Shakespeare.

"Off with his head!" - (Act III, Scene IV King Richard).

"Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt". - (Act I, Scene IV Measure for Measure).

"what 's done is done".- (Act III, Scene II Macbeth)

"The game is up." - (Act III, Scene III Cymbeline).