It's now been just over two years since the once proud Edmonton Football Club turned its back on the beloved people of the great god Nanook. In his extreme anguish at this shameful betrayal, Nanook decreed that the Edmonton Football Club would triumph no more within his domains (which evidently extend down into central Alberta).
And so it's been. The Edmonton Elks have now lost thirteen straight at home where they haven't won a game since they were the Eskimos.
Interesting theory. Can't find any fault in it.
Does Nanook need a sacrifice??
Maybe a rain dance?
Or curse lifting by real Eskimos?
How about getting rid of Elks name for Eskies ( another word for huskies).
Surely a few girl wolves might do the trick.
Dunno, can't say I have much experience lifting curses. There's a full moon in a couple of weeks, they could start looking for virgins to sacrifice? I'm not having anything to do with it myself because, being a Lions fan, I'm ok with their curse.
Step aside mortal. I can lift this curse.
(Ahem) 'Nanook' spelled backwards is 'Koonan'... which has a lot to do with Japanese Coffee. You may not like it, but it won't try to kill you in your sleep.
You're welcome.
What it's doing to the Elks is worse! Death by a thousand losses. But like I say that's ok with me.
The mighty Nanook has nothing to do with wolves though. Nanook is actually the master of bears.
Maybe some of the Elks cheerleaders with polar bear masks laid out as a ceremonial offering? They'd have to be female cheerleaders though since Inuit elders all avow that Nanook is very traditionally heterosexual.
I need to do more research on the subject of appeasing Inuit deities, however. All that's clear is that the Edmonton Football Club has by its transgressions angered the great Nanook.
On the subject of food offerings, I have good evidence indicating that Nanook strongly prefers salmon and arctic char to Japanese coffee. Whether he's hungry or horny though I believe depends upon the phases of the moon. Like I say, I need to do more research on the subject.
Hmmm. What's scarier? Monsters who rip us to pieces? Or... Horney Monsters who rip us to pieces and maybe do something icky to us as well?
What's scariest is offending Nanook. Witness that the Elks have failed to win a single game in Nanook's traditional domains which extend over Regina and Winnipeg as well as Edmonton since the Edmonton club turned its back on Nanook's beloved people.
This is just desserts for not going with my preferred "Edmonton Inuit" suggestion. But nooooo, they just couldn't let go of the Double EE logo. They have incurred the wrath of both Nanook & Porky.
You guys are joking around, but Ill tell yoi something that isnt funny. Ignore te highlights, a d just pay attention to the empty stands.
https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://www.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3DZlay6sJhph4&ved=2ahUKEwin4daP4fn5AhXDBTQIHepXCdIQjjh6BAgSEAI&usg=AOvVaw1cW-duGjqxU_PR0BZEFOXd
Elks need to bring in Vancouver's sales team.
So I keep telling Edmonton football fans that the great god Nanook must be placated if the Elks are to win on his home turf in Edmonton again. But does Edmonton team management listen? Look at the team's record at Commonwealth in the last two years and you'll have your answer.
