This just in...
I guess it is just before noon in Alberta at the time of the article so it counts....lol
Well done 3 down!
Great article. Reminds me of probably the most notorious similar article of all time, the one SI wrote about ace pitching prospect Sidd Finch in 1985 (link below). That article gained more traction than any similar article to my knowledge. Orson Welles would have been proud.
My favourite line in the article:
"Chris Jones the defensive guru has long believed that Ray was playing out of position."
Can he "drop it in the bucket" though as a linebacker? Well maybe drop a running back into a bucket of goo if he comes his way with a run, perhaps.
Ah yes, indeed, how timely, my kin of one of my ancestral surnames are magnates in the global pasta industry in that Po Valley mentioned you see, and what tales they would spin to me, when I was a little shaver visiting, as they harvested the pasta!
...And then again in the Spring when they'd plant the meatballs.
You were so lucky Paolo. In my country we'd plant french fries and watch our cholesterol levels rise. The stories were sad. I remember Pa Pa telling me that I would explode one day.
Ah ha ha so terrifying for you - the nefarious motives behind all those "Happy" Meals by all those "good" people ah ah ah!
Well, of course I'm happy you and your family made it out of that racket too and are all okay.
Tried my hand at growing pasta, lost the farm to the dreaded pasta blight of 1968
Ah ha. I see.
Well, sir, I feel I must thank you now because I learned something tonight.
Putting together your revelation with my family's oral history, I have learned just now that your abject failure was the root of a breakthrough deal for my Italian ancestors along two bloodlines.
The "Evils" and the "pasta magnate family" bought your abandoned saplings and seeds for free or cheap, you see, and the rest is global pasta history.
I apologize now if I am getting a bit misty in reminiscing now of when I had swung from one of your seeded trees in my innocent youth on a visit to Italy.
Okay, back on track we go.
I have totally forgot what the right track is
I can answer that.
Ricky Ray is Back. And he's running for Linebacker. Can he count on your vote Rider01.1? Huh?! Can he?!!
Otherwise the Argonauts might never host a sell out crowd this year and it'll be all your fault.
I must admit, I knew the story was fishy, but, as usual, didn't catch the April Fool's connection until much later.
Try the harvesting spaghetti video or the Sidd Finch article, which both fooled tens of thousands of people.
Too funny. Reminds me of Frank Zappa's song about fields of dental floss in Montana.
As for April Fools, I've always been a Hiwatt bulb!
Going to Montana soon,
Gonna be a dental floss tycoon.
Often not a popular choice, but I love Zappa. Still have 16 LP’s in my basement.
I'm still searching for an April Fools sketch disguised as a commercial that ran during the John Byner comedy hour back in the 1970's which 'had the switchboads lighting up'. The timing was perfect. Just as they did their 'we'll be right back' an announcer cut in with an important news bulletin concerning the greatest trade in football history...
"...which sends running back Lawrence McCutcheon, defensive back Cullen Bryant AND Quarterback John Hadl from the Los Angeles Rams to Notre Dame for hunchback Quasimoto. Now back to our regular programming."
As soon as this finished I was on the floor laughing my guts out. Meanwhile outraged American viewers were calling in to vent their spleens (keep in mind that John Byner was Canadian). Since there was no internet at the time I had no idea that this prank had gone down so well until the next day during the evening news.