OT: Funny Instructions

Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods...

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)(Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this...)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

Thanks to:

http://www.funnyjunk.com/pages/funny_instructions.htm

I just think with the intensity of the regular season widing down, we all need a good laugh!

agreed.

[url=http://66.102.7.104/search?q=cache:reLzwNzuZTUJ:www.pull-ups.com/na/sharingspace/ShowPost.aspx%3FPostID%3D1518+kanga+kucha+pull&hl=en]http://66.102.7.104/search?q=cache:reLz ... pull&hl=en[/url]

StatiK76
GO BOMBERS!!!

Blastoff
The Houston Astros are going to the World Series for the first time in their 44-year franchise history after beating the St. Louis Cardinals 5-1 in Game 6 of the NLCS on Wednesday. The Astros who were one out away from the World Series in Game 5 before a dramatic 3-run homer from Albert Pujols were able to bounce back from the heartbreak thanks to the pitching of Roy Oswalt who won his 2nd NLCS game and won the NLCS MVP by limiting the Cardinals to 3 hits and 1 run in 7 innings. The Astros will now face the Chicago White Sox in the World Series starting Saturday in Chicago.

WHO CALLED THAT!!!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!!!! Roger Clemens ROCKS!!!!!

Ah Kanga ... you ignored my first message ... you tried to change the subject and ignore my last message ... you were embarassed and deleted your inital posting on pull-ups.com ... but you can't hide from Google cache ...

[url=http://66.102.7.104/search?q=cache:reLzwNzuZTUJ:www.pull-ups.com/na/sharingspace/ShowPost.aspx%3FPostID%3D1518+kanga+kucha&hl=en]http://66.102.7.104/search?q=cache:reLz ... ucha&hl=en[/url]

Now ... that is funny! Bwahahaha!

StatiK76
GO BOMBERS!!!

StatiK76, no one cares about a stupid prank I did on that site or any other, m'k, stop harassing me!!! or I have my kitty here take you out!

kidding abou the kity part!

Honestly mate, you get thrown off the forum if you continue, and nether you or I want that!!!

Bwaahahaha!

Ah Kanga ... See - you bad mouth me while i'm gone .. and this is what happens. Those sure are some funny "pranks" you got going on at pull-ups.com ... Hilarious infact. You sure pulled one over, on those fools at pull-ups.com ... I bet they are relishing in anger right now. You sure got them good! Bwhahaha ...

Feel fortunate I didn't post those "pranks" you got going over on those Japanese Blog sites ...

StatiK76
GO BOMBERS!!!

.......ok statik, maybe thats enough eh? you've had your fun at KK's expense.....in other words 'o.k. folks, let's move along now, there's nothing to see here but a big gruesome car wreck'......

As 3nd and 10 once said, This is exactly why the Bombers haven't been in the playoffs yet and will not be for a while, why? BECASE WE AGURED OVER STUPID SHIT WITH OURSELFS INSTEAD OF FOCUSING ON THE PROBLEMS AT HAND!!!

So, I believe some CFL baseball fans need to bow down before me!

Ugh... now now Statik, the first post was fine, but the second just went a little too far.

Here's something good: http://winterson.com/2005/06/episode-ii ... -west.html

This thread really caught me off-guard...

First, the post at pull-ups...
Second, the validation of the author's identity...
Third, a quote attributed to me that is not-related to the topic...
And now some kind of a baseball diversion...

I feel like I'm in a twilight zone. I guess I should avoid coming back in this one. I'm afraid of what I might find when I return.

http://chuckklr04.smugmug.com/photos/25324575-M.jpg

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRHHHHhhhh !! ! !!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrhhhhhhhh!!!!! ??????

......it's french for "my eyes, my eyes!"..........

** sigh **

I'll stop.

All in good fun ... eh Kanga ol' Buddy ol' Pal ...

My work here is done.

StatiK76
GO PAMPERS!!!

you... no that is how this mess started in the frist place.

Next time, mate, send this to me in my e-mail, ok, and don't bring the whole site into it:

http://www.funnyjunk.com/pages/fool.htm

Reminds me of a site of old.

Back in Grade 9 or so, there was some site called www.youdontknowwhoiam.com, or something, and if you accessed it, you're screen would be populated by a diverse and massive number of pop-ups featuring happy faces and the caption "you're an idiot".

Good fun. It couldn't be closed without having to shut down internet explorer.