TSN – Canada’s Shorts Network
June 19, 2006
If you have any idea what Eskimos Head Coach Danny Maccocia is up to please let the rest of the world know.
Word today out of the Igloo is that Ricky Ray, Jason Tucker and Troy Davis are on the proverbial chopping block and will be released by the team before the upcoming weekend grudge match against the province rivals from down south.
“I haven’t heard a thing? a visibly stunned Ray said to reporters as he entered the team’s front office today. Neither Tucker or Davis were available for comments as the team slowly arrived for morning workouts. “We are supposed to hear something later today? noted a shaking Kelly Wiltshire who had to leave the interview quickly after nervously looking over his shoulder at the front office entrance.
One visibly upset fan was spotted outside the facility. “Come out here you miserable French bastard!? the 19 year old single male screamed to the glass doors while he repeatedly threw his hat at the building. “Explain to me why you are stripping this team of it’s talent pool you dancing idiot!? he relented to the door before falling in a shuddering weeping heap. Security moved in and removed the young lad shortly thereafter.
Even more strange is the fact that long time leader of the 2006 Grey Cup Champions Hugh Campbell has not been seen around the teams facility for quite some time. In an unconfirmed report, this agency has also learned that the electrical bill for Commonwealth stadium has skyrocketed by a whopping 1,200%. Neighbours to the facility are complaining to city officials of glowing pulses of light at night and the apparent release of a horde of nocturnal bats to the night sky last Tuesday.
“We definitely have some question we would like to ask the people at the Eskimo office but every time we call someone laughs hysterically and hangs up on us?, said city manager Boris Strencoff.