Offseason Timewaster #2

Okay, this is similar to Offseason Timewaster #1.

The only change is that now you can participate in the historical event to change history.

Again, pick three that you would go back to, and tell us what you'd do to change history.

My three are:

  1. Sometime in the early 1930s, I'd be in Germany and I'd assassinate Adolf Hitler. Would the Nazis have still come to power, under Goering, Goebbels, Heydrich, or some such? And would World War Two and the Holocaust have necessarily followed?

  2. 14 April 1865 would find me in Ford's Theater, and I'd stop John Wilkes Booth from shooting Abraham Lincoln. How would things have turned out had Lincoln lived? One thing I expect would change, I doubt that Reconstruction would have been the mess it turned out to be had Lincoln still been in charge.

  3. 22 November 1963, I'd be on the 6th floor of the Texas School Book Depository, and at the appropriate time I'd nudge Oswald throwing off his aim (or, for the conspiracy minded, I'd be on the Grassy Knoll or wherever and knock the mystery shooter's aim off) so that Kennedy lived. How would US history have turned out had he lived and run for a second term?

Hmmm.... so many possibilities.

  1. November 22, 1963. Breakfast with President Kennedy so I could warn him to change his route that fateful day.

  2. April 14, 1912 [11:00PM] aboard the Titanic to warn of massive iceberg dead ahead.

  3. November 27, 2012, the day preceding the $587.5 million Powerball draw. It was won 28 November 2012 and split by 2 tickets: Cash payout $384.7 million. Split 3 ways and my take would be about $128 million before taxes. I'd share the money with all my "friends" here on the CFL forum.

May 17, 1972 - Wouldn't have asked Mary Lou Johnson to the high school graduation.

May 18, 1972 - Should have asked Betty Roundtree to the high school graduation.

Dec 8, 1980 - Hung out outside the Dakota Apartments in New York.

I'm not sure we should be playing with the past. What if by changing something, we eliminate our own existence ?

Hard to argue with Madjack’s #2 & 3. It seems JFK was planning to bail on Vietnam, and that alone would have changed the 60s beyond recognition; maybe even have prevented the rise of disco :wink:

I’d back up on #1, take over the Archduke’s car in 1914 and drive him safely home, hopefully preventing WW1, surely one of the stupidest and damaging major wars ever fought (read Margaret MacMillan’s book on the 1919 Paris peace conference; almost every major problem in today’s world got planted and fertilized there). No WW1, and Hitler goes to his death as “a bore in a bar? (that Brit historian whose name escapes me).

For a couple of others, I’d consider trying to talk sense to Pope Clement XI to change his mind on the Chinese Rites Controversy. Venerating your ancestors Confucian style isn’t idolatry, and there could have been a fruitful engagement between Europe and a strong Chinese civilization, not the Opium War crap that came later.

And I might consider pulling a “Rainbow Warrior? on Columbus’ fleet, just so Spain wouldn’t have gotten such a big head start on colonizing the new world. I’m no fan of Aztec human sacrifice, but I’m no fan of the way Mexico turned out either. It would have been interesting had an advanced urban civilization in the Americas survived to become a distinctive part of world culture over against Europe, India, China, etc.

hmmmm...Interesting Dan38. I could think of one or two on the CFL forum that I would not miss. Ohh.....not including you of course.

"My one regret in life is that I am not somebody else."
-Woody Allen

Can't really argue that.

While not as damaging, globally, as WW1, the Chaco War would qualify as among the stupidest. From Bruce Farcau's book on that war:

"The word tragic has been applied to virtually every war in history, but there have been few wars that word fits more perfectly than the Chaco War between Bolivia and Paraguay. That the war was fought between two of the world's poorest nations over three long years and that it claimed the lives of nearly a hundred thousand men out of a total combined population of less than five million was certainly sad. That the war was fought over one of the most worthless pieces of real estate in existence was undeniably insane."

works for me. I would go back to before I was conceived and kill my mother.

That is a terrible thing to say FYB....even if she did kick you out of the house! Shame on you.

kick me out of the house? cant tell if you are joking.

"kick me out of the house? cant tell if you are joking." FootbalYouBet

I guess I was trying to be cryptic about it FYB. Actually I didn't know if you were trying to be funny or where you were coming from. I really cannot imagine going back in time and killing the woman who conceived me. I don't know, maybe the recent Jovan Belcher news is still fresh in my mind.

Jest if you will. Just don't "blue print" me. :lol:

If I was Woody I might wish I were someone else too !

You’re right, there are many potential dangers, as we can learn (of course) from the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy:

“I’m Zaphod Beeblebrox, my father’s Zaphod Beeblebrox II, my grandfather’s Zaphod Beeblebrox III…”


“There was an accident with a contraceptive and a time machine, I can’t explain it right now…”

Here's one scene.....I'd like to help prevent.

December 8th 1980 Mark David Chapman gunned down John Lennon after coming home from a record recording. Although there are signs/chain of events leading up to a scene that turns out tragic which comes in the trial of the person convicted. However on Dec. 8th Chapman got a book autographed by Lennon earlier in the day, but Chapman was scene hanging around the apartment where the Lennon's lived waiting for John to arrive and when he did John was gunned down from behind. The music world lost a very talented musician on that day [politics likely played a role in the writing of Lennon's music/lyrics].

Great minds think alike.

Another one is Feb. 3, 1959, to convince Buddy Holly, Richie Valens and the Big Bopper not to fly.

I would like to go back and save elvis, but I cant think how one would do that.

one thing I have wished for decades that I could do is go back and somehow convince all the first nations to work together to keep all foreigners from stepping one foot on this continent.

Mozart died at 35; I wouldn't mind saving him, but I wouldn't know how since Wikipedia says there are at least 118 theories as to why he died (without so much as a grassy knoll).

Madjack, any interest in prolonging the life of Alexander the Great (32)? Or Ogedei Khan, if it's true that his death was the only thing that prevented the Mongol conquest of Europe?

No interest at all.

Yes that would be a good one. It is true that his death saved Europe, the Mongols all returned for the Kurultai to select Ogedei's successor (over Subedei's objection, he was planning the invasion of the Holy Roman Empire). Had that not occurred, I think they would have taken all Europe to the Atlantic, there really wasn't a European field army capable of stopping them. . .but I don't think they'd have taken Great Britain (or even tried).