New Ivor Wynne Policy

It has come to our attention that a few years back one unfortunate fan had his ear bitten off. Therefore we are pleased to announce that from this day forward anyone with teeth will not be allowed entry into the stadium. This is for your safety

And on top of that a man once got drunk from the beer he bought at the stadium and he started a fight, so now beer will no longer be sold at the games.

It has come to our attention that a few years back one unfortunate fan had his ear bitten off.
Sorry- the bite took place OUTSIDE the stadium. While in the stadium the participants in the later fracas were just fans. This suggests that in the future FANS not be allowed in the stadium.

Fans are not allowed to enter the stadium until the braintrust on Balsam Ave. present a team that is capable of winning on a regular and consistent basis.

It has come to our attention that a few years back one unfortunate fan had his ear bitten off.
This is terrible! No food allowed on the premises that isn't sold by the stadium vendors.

Hilarious thread!!

So in summary, only drunken sots with one ear, no teeth, carrying umbrellas and flags and a bucket of KFC are allowed into the stadium??? :?

Good one, Mangy.
They've sure gotten silly with their over-zealous security, eh?

And, remember...NO BEACH BALLS! Very dangerous!

Of course guys, remember that most of these are CITY by-laws. I would love to have been behind the scenes to hear where and why the crackdown was initiated. We'll never know.

As someone who once ran for council (back in '80) I suggest that the most dangerous items to bring would be City Council members.

Damn! I have teeth AND I like beer!

Sign of the times.

Water bottles can not enter the stadium with a fan in their possession.

Security.... be on the lookout for this suspect!!

I love well written policy. Thanks for the laughs

Just took a look at all the things mentioned above. Just add a "mickey" in the back pocket, and you have the typical of fan of the 70's. (except maybe more teeth then)

mark bowden was on bill kellys show this morning and said that normal sized umbrellas would be allowed in the stadium. not golf or beach sized umbrellas

...but will somebody let the security folks at the gate know this? I doubt it.

What is this obscession with umbrellas. Let it go, buy a poncho or raincoat like everybody else. Your dry and not pi$$ing of the guy behind you. Geez.

i wouldnt use an umbrella at the game but would use it walking from the bus to the game and to the bus from the game to get home

1tccat that is great. Exactly what they are meant for. This posting was all in fun and I don’t want to make it another serious tirade.

mark bowden was on bill kellys show this morning and said that normal sized umbrellas would be allowed in the stadium. not golf or beach sized umbrellas
Damn! I was looking forward to bringing my 10' cantilevered, single stem umbrella complete with concrete stand and picnic table.

I'll bet I could do this in other CFL cities.