"to a squad [secondary]that was lit up like an Amsterdam brothel last year..."
Does Ken Peters have to make at least one sexual reference/innuendo per column?
It's usually the guys who are always talking about it that are hardly doing it.
Maybe he's trying to get a regular spot in Maxim magazine. Whatever the motivation, I don't think his humour is appropriate for a newspaper. High school locker room humour is best left there.