Karen, to be or not to be

I wonder why people get away with using Karen as an insult. I wonder what people named Karen think and feel about it. Do the people that use Karen as an insult even care? Probably not.

How many Karens are changing their names, or will do so?

Will Karen be dropped from baby name books?

Will cancel culture cancel the name Karen? Would that be a bad thing or a good thing?

If someone calls my wife or daughter a Karen, can I deck them?

Why do people have to be so mean?

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IN no particular order
I know a Karen, she only gets called Karen when she act like a Karen
Stop being Karen
I think Karen will be dropped as a name
People who act like Karen deserve be called Karen ...it's funny because it's true
My friend called Karen used act like a Karen quite a lot...now she does not because she hates being a Karen and she has decided to call herself Kara....now when she sees a Karen she says "I used to do that, thank God I grew the F up"
People are mean because of that thing called human nature
did i say stop being a Karen?

I don't know who the Karen was who started this or where this originated but I agree with you that the "Karens" of the world need to pump the brakes and be nicer to people that they encounter and whom they deem worthy of their wrath and scorn -

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Clear indication of how messed up our society is…

Perhaps you should stop worrying and griping so much about what other people think and say and how it affects you (or others).

This whole cancel culture is all about protecting the feelings of whiny people. They feel that it is the duty of all 7 billion of the other people on the planet to tiptoe around their feelings and emotions, no matter how obscure they may be. Before you take that stance, you ought to collect a database 7 billion strong of everyone else's feelings and triggers and keep it on hand for each and every interaction you have on a daily basis.

Yea, not the least bit practical. So in order to spare everyone's feelings, we just won't say a damn thing. Have our tongues surgically removed.

OR ... we could all just take a little responsibility for our own feelings. Naw, f that! EVERYONE ELSE should look after my mental and emotional well being!

Yea, how is that not the height of laziness?

Suck it up, Karen.


there was no worrying or griping. Just asking questions to promote civil discussion.

as to other peoples feeling, there is a big difference between "not being responsible for them" and maliciously intending to hurt.

I beg to differ as per your not griping. Your final 'question' was ...

... insinuating that you believe that people who use the term Karen as an insult are mean. That's a gripe.

The tone and gist of your entire opening post was about controlling the behavior and words/thoughts of others. You were insinuating that people who use the term Karen are wrong to do so. The very thing that you chastise (Karen calling) is what you are defending and even practising in this thread. As a supposed Karen admonishes others through privileged entitlement and moral high ground, so you are admonishing those who use the term from your moral high ground. And you do so to the point of even contemplating physical harm to others as a punishment ...

Any time that anyone feels insulted, it is because somewhere in their psyche they hold a belief that either confirms or may confirm the statement made.

So when someone tries to insult you (or someone close to you) you take it as an insult, take offense and demand apologies or corrective behavior or punishment for the damage to YOUR self esteem.

Alternatively, when someone tries to insult me, I don't take offense because I know that it's just some weakass having a chump moment and lashing out. I'm certainly not butthurt by someone else's opinions of me or even straight up lies about me. If on the rare instance that someone points out something about me that I don't like about myself, I take the opportunity to reassess myself and make any appropriate changes. In other words, I take responsibility for my own feelings and self esteem.


I am so glad that you could tell me what my motive and intention was. Silly me, I thought I just wanted to promote discussion in kind of a humorous way, as in starting 4 thread with similar titles. My comment about decking someone was supposed to be for humor. I guess that fell flat. I threw in the comment about mean because it just seemed to fit.

However, to be more serious in response to you. Yes, I do believe that people who use the term Karen as an insult range from being ignorant to just plain mean spirited. Expressing an opinion is not about controlling, or else we are all guilty of doing that all the time.

You say I am practicing the very thing I am critical of regarding people using Karen this way, well they are also guilty of practicing the very thing they accuse "Karens" as doing. One could also say you are doing the same thing to me. Except I dont feel hurt by it.

Morals has nothing to do with it. I just don't like to hurt people or see people hurt by others, specially when it is malicious.

Your comment about anytime anyone feels insulted is simply wrong. Your paragraph on it comes across as someone who doesnt give a damn about anyone else's feelings. I would like to think that is not really so.

I must be living under a rock because I've never heard of this 'Karen' thing before. Seems worse than people calling me Mikey instead of Mike or Michael. :slight_smile:

Okay , I'm proposing that from here on out that someone being considered unreasonable and an absolute psycho a "Karen" will be replaced with the name "Pam" .

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Not really sure what the Karen was intended to be... or what the discussion is all about nor do I care if anyone defends or insults so called Karens... I do know from first hand experience how disconcerting and quite often how much one actually feels in mortal danger with a "Karen" directing her anger and attention towards you. They intentionally make you feel that they are one heartbeat away from commiting violence towards you and that in way way shape or form is not defendable nor should it be allowed.

Watching this show and watched a real documentary about this case. Very, very interesting and disturbing. Renee Zellweger is great in this I find. Don't know, calling someone a 'Karen' does this mean or could mean a real psycho?

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It's not wrong. It's bang on. perhaps someday you will learn this.

I absolutely do care about other people's feelings. It's just impossible for me or you or anyone else to KNOW what everyone's feelings are in order to avoid stepping in them. Like one might think that if someone called someone a Karen it might hurt the feelings of the Karen, but instead it hurt the feelings of you. If Maaax or Paolo called me a douchebag would it hurt the feelings of you more than it would hurt me? It couldn't hurt me less, I can tell you that for sure, but now we all have to watch out just in case someone like YOU gets butthurt over it and starts a thread calling out the douchebags that call people douchebags.

you dont seem to understand. It is not calling a person a name that I speak of, it is using some peoples actual name as an insult that I disagree with.

I know that some Italians are offended if called the W word.
I know that some Mexicans are offended if called the S word
I know that some first Nations are offended to be referred to as Indians.
I know that many are offended if you refer to a mentally disabled person as the R word.

Believe me, I would not be hurt if anyone called you a douchbag :slight_smile:

Yes I DO understand. No, that's not what you said off the top. If that was what you were trying to say, then you did a very poor job of it. Either way, common noun or proper noun, it's still just a word. We've been calling a hooker's pervy client a 'John' an unwanted nosy detective a 'Dick' and a wuss coward a 'Nancy' for decades. Big deal. Where are your threads for those?

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weel you do have a point. John and Dick are not so bad, but maybe the use of Nancy should be re-visited

I don't know, I think part of all of this is how ideas or concepts as psychologist Dr. Nick Haslam talks about in this interview, with the term he coined or may have coined called 'concept creep', meaning if I have this right how concepts change over time and can mean different things at different periods of time. So what was once called a 'Karen' at the beginning when this term was introduced as evolved into something a bit different now. It's a bit of a long interview an hour but it's worthwhile watching a bit of this if anyone is interested.

Again, you are trying to control other people's behavior. Have you asked any Johns or Dicks or Nancys how they feel about it? Just as you assumed that Karens would be hurt, you assume that Johns and Dicks wouldn't. That is your opinion ONLY backed by no evidence at all. Did you poll any Johns Dicks or Nancys?

So you are attempting to force your opinions and values upon others. What about other people's opinions and values? Do you care about those? Let alone their feelings? Or do only the feelings of people that you deem worthy enough by whatever whim of your personal values count?

Like how a nerd 30 or 40 years ago was someone totally socially inept and utterly uncool to the point of scorn. Now a nerd is someone who is actually quirkily cool in some way usually (but not necessarily) related to their braininess. The old definition of nerd has been passed on to geek now.

Skinhead originally was a laborer in the UK who shaved his head to show solidarity with his labor brothers. Nowadays it means any violent racist punk who shaves his head.

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Interesting. This paper which talks about 'concept creep' with Nick Haslam goes into a bit more detail, bullying I find quite interesting how this has changed.

"How did American culture arrive at these moments? A new research paper by Nick Haslam, a professor of psychology at the University of Melbourne, Australia, offers as useful a framework for understanding what’s going on as any I’ve seen. In “Concept Creep: Psychology's Expanding Concepts of Harm and Pathology,” Haslam argues that concepts like abuse, bullying, trauma, mental disorder, addiction, and prejudice, “now encompass a much broader range of phenomena than before,”expanded meanings that reflect “an ever-increasing sensitivity to harm.”