Here are Third And Then's predictions (i took the liberty to transfer them from another thread).
B.-C. â€“ The Lions go on to winning all of their 18 regular season games. The Vancouver media start demonstrating some interest for the Lions after they become Sports Illustrated featured story, in an article titled Â« NFL Reject gives Canada a reason to enjoy itself. Â» In October, David Braley makes a fool of himself at a banquet celebrating Tom Wrightsâ€™ nomination for the Order of Canada, when he pulls out a copy of an August daily titled Â« Who will stop the Lions? Â» and calls it Â« todayâ€™s paper Â». After BC loses the Grey Cup at home, a CBC commentator asks most outstanding canadian, Jason Clermont, how much of a dream it was to play in the Grey Cup against its own fans. The commentator gets tackled in the nuts.
Edmonton â€“ In spite of being 10-2 after their first 12 games, the Eskimos face another one of Hughâ€™s Campbell nervous breakdowns because the team is only ranked second in the CFL behind the 12-0 Lions. Campbell trades off Jason Mass and a wheelbarrel of 100$ bundles to Hamilton for Troy Davis and a Tim Hortonâ€™s franchise. The trade backfires on the Eskimos after Ricky Ray gets accidentally hit by a Frito Lays truck, in front of McMahonâ€™s stadium. The Eskimos manage to sneak into the playoffs, but lose in the western division semi-finals after Troy Davis - who was running free with the winning touchdown in the gameâ€™s dying second - trips on a bundle of money dropped by Campbell.
Saskatchewan â€“ In sync with their previous yearâ€™s outings, the Roughriders go on to winning games only when their fans start jumping off the bandwagon. Nealon Greene goes down after week 8 with a fractured affro. Marcus Crandell fills in well, winning a sequence of two games in a row.Three games from the end of the season, Crandell cranks its game a notch and makes Taylor Field goes wild when he succesfully execute plays he never made before, like short passes near the sidelines. The Riders fail to host a playoff game, but goes on to win the western semi-final at Commonwealth stadium. After the game, fans in Regina drop a pile of manure on Paul McCallumâ€™s lawn, even if the aging kicker sucessfully made his three field goals attempts in the game. One of the perpetuators explains to the Regina Police Corp that they dropped the manure anyways because they didnâ€™t know what to do with it, since it had been ordered prematurely. Â«We were caught off-guard by McCallumâ€™s solid performance Â», he explained. The Ridersâ€™ playoff run comes to an end in the Western finals, when Dennis Giles, filling in for Marcus Crandell, who stayed in Regina to attend the unveiling of a statue of himself, fails to perform.
Calgary â€“ The Stampeders finish with the same record as the Riders, but get the fourth place after losing the serie in a game where former Rider Henry Burris fumbled a record 9 times. The Stamps miss a shot at crossing over, getting ousted of the playoffs after being denied of the victory on a trick play that was called-back by a new referee named Campbell.
Winnipeg â€“ The Blue Bombers come out struggling and canâ€™t manage to get more than one victory in over a half season. Before week 12â€™s game, coach Jim Daley announces he finally plans to play a new quarterback, realizing Glenn and Martin are not an appropriate one two punch. Â« Itâ€™s more of a one-two slap Â», admits Daley. But the coach has no time to implement its plan, because general manager Taman comes back from an eight-month long vacations and gives him the boot. Taman hires a former CFL coach named Matt Dunnigan, saying he likes the steak-smell of people coming from Calgary. Dunnigan persuades Taman of trading Charles Roberts and Joe Flemming to the Lions in return for soon-to-be-retired Moe Elewonibi, a 3rd round pick, the rights to a player whose entry in Canada was denied and a bucket of Ben & Jerry.
Toronto â€“ Damon Allen gets both of his legs crushed after being Â« accidentally Â» fell on by Montrealâ€™s Ed Philion. The accident brings suspicion as it happens not on the field, but at the supermarket in Allenâ€™s neighbourhood. Â« Hey, I just love the cookies in Toronto, so I had to go to that particular grocery store Â», Philion argued. Nonetheless, the Argos go on to hire former NFL great Dan Marino to fill in for injured Allen. Â« I know I was retired Â», said Marino on his surprising comeback, Â« but even in the NFL, never was I offered this much money before. Â» In spite of his 16 legâ€™s fractures, ironman Allen is ready to take is job back after three weeks. The Argos win their first division title since 2001, but must forfeit the game because Barney the dinosaur had already rented the Roger Center on game night.
Ottawa â€“ When the Ottawa media are told that Ottawa finished the season in second-place, they mistakenly title the papers Â« The Senators were one spot away from NHL domination Â». The Renegades host the Alouettes in the western division semi-final game, but must go without head coach Joe Paopao, who had previously booked his vacations in November, since heâ€™s always off by then. President Lonie Glieberman fails to notice Paopaoâ€™s departure because of being too busy running cheerleadersâ€™ auditions.
Montreal â€“ Montreal goes on to recording its first losing record since reappearing in the league : 8-10. In spite of all the woes suffered by the decimated Alouettes â€“ due to both off-seasonâ€™ pillage and injuries â€“ coach Don Matthews stubbornly repeats that he has never seen such a perfect roster. Mid-way through the season, the Alouettes add a new record to the CFL book for being the first team half-constituted of defensive linemen. Montreal get past the Renegades in the western semi-final after former Alâ€™s Matt Kellett fails to identify which of the four uprights he sees are the real ones. Montreal then head straight to the Grey Cup game because of Torontoâ€™s forfeit. Jim Popp gives a contract extension to Barney the dinosaur.
Hamilton â€“ Hi-tech fanatic Bob Young agrees to trade off Troy Davis to Edmonton after he successfully creates a robotic clone version of the star running back. The robot canâ€™t add any heart to the already lifeless Tiger-Cats, and the Hamiltonâ€™s yellow & black crew tie their 2003 infamous record of 1-17 (winning again one game against Saskatchewan). Bob Young slams the door at the end of the season, leaving with the robotic Troy Davis who eventually gets a job in Â« Star Trek, the late late late generation Â». The Tiger-Cats fail to find an owner in less than 30 days, which puts commissionner Tom Wright on the hot seatâ€¦.