[b][u]5.[/u][/b] [b][i]It's the Chris Williams show and we're all invited along for the ride[/i][/b]
I know we're not supposed to quote Chris "Boomer" Berman if we're to maintain our journalistic integrity ('cause it's a cliche, see, and we don't do cliches), but the ESPN host is such a big CFL fan let's go for it once.
When the Cats' Chris Williams fields a kick, you just know He-Could-Go-All-The-Way ... and he has gone, five times so far, tying the CFL single-season mark with 10 games to go.
That he's doing all this at just 5-feet-9 and 155 pounds is even cooler. Seriously, you have to see this guy in the dressing room with his pads off to appreciate how skinny he really is. Ballet dancers are jealous.
Earlier this year he actually threw up (on the field, on national TV) in exhaustion, or excitement, or something.
Special teams coordinators all across the LEAGUE know exactly how that feels.
6. Cats don't fetch, roll over, bring in the newspaper ... or tackle
The Tiger-Cats can't tackle. That's not meant to be a personal criticism, or a condemnation of their attitude, or a shot at their manliness.
They just can't tackle.
Oh, there are exceptions. Renauld Williams can tackle. Jamall Johnson can tackle. I'm pretty sure TC Cat and Pigskin Pete can pull a guy down when necessary.
But for the rest, they just flail away and hope for the best - thus the last place stats in most of the defensive categories.
Yakking with a scout after a game early in the season (Hey, I'm using my best lines here), I asked what he thought of this year's black and gold. "Still can't tackle in the backfield," he said.
Unfortunately for Cats' fans, this two-hand touch doesn't fit the basics of the pro game. The one called tackle football.
[b][u]10[/u][/b]. Nobody knows nuthin'
The worst prognosticator in the CFL (me) has had an alright year so far - an event so unprecedented I think that knock on the door is WADA coming to drug test.
Nobody with an ounce of sense actually bets on the league because nothing ever goes the way it's supposed to, but overall the pre-season picks are still on track for maybe six right and two wrong.
And then there's Hamilton. Season after season I pick the Tiger-Cats to win the East. And they don't. Can't understand how a team that looks so good on paper can struggle like this: A paltry 3-5 with a porous defence.
I grew up an Argonaut fan for gosh sakes. Bled Double Blue. You'd think I'd know better.
Still, can you imagine how they feel in the Hammer? Maybe there's a big second half coming to save them and me.