Burn The Witches

...with apologies Russ. Gotta' meeting early in the morning and need to post the script.


(V) Sir Vladimir
(King) King is Arthur, King of the Britains!
(W) 'Witch' woman
(P1,P2,P3) Peasants one, two and three

Peasants: We have found a witch! (A witch! a witch!)
Burn her burn her!

Peasant 1: We have found a witch, may we burn her?
Vladimir: How do you known she is a witch?
P2: She looks like one!
V: Bring her forward
Woman: I'm not a witch! I'm not a witch!
V: ehh... but you are dressed like one.
W: They dressed me up like this!
All: naah no we didn't... no.
W: And this isn't my nose, it's a false one.
(V lifts up carrot)
V: Well?
P1: Well we did do the nose
V: The nose?
P1: ...And the hat, but she is a witch!
(all: yeah, burn her burn her!)
V: Did you dress her up like this?
P1: No! (no no... no) Yes. (yes yeah) a bit (a bit bit a bit) But she has got a wart!
(P3 points at wart)
V: What makes you think she is a witch?
P2: Well, she turned me into a newt!
V: A newt?!
(P2 pause & look around)
P2: I got better.
P3: Burn her anyway! (burn her burn her burn!)
(king walks in)
V: There are ways of telling whether she is a witch.
P1: Are there? Well then tell us! (tell us)
V: Tell me... what do you do with witches?
P3: Burn'em! Burn them up! (burn burn burn)
V: What do you burn apart from witches?
P1: More witches! (P2 nudge P1)
P3: Wood!
V: So, why do witches burn?
(long pause)
P2: Cuz they're made of... wood?
V: Gooood.
(crowd congratulates P2)
V: So, how do we tell if she is made of wood?
P1: Build a bridge out of her!
V: Ahh, but can you not also make bridges out of stone?
P1: Oh yeah...
V: Does wood sink in water?
P1: No
P3: No. It floats!
P1: Let's throw her into the bog! (yeah yeah ya!)
V: What also floats in water?
P1: Bread
P3: Apples
P2: Very small rocks
(V looks annoyed)
P1: Cider
P3: Grape gravy
P1: Cherries
P3: Mud
King: A Duck!
(all look and stare at king)
V: Exactly! So, logically...
P1(thinking): If she ways the same as a duck... she's made of wood!
V: And therefore,
(pause & think)
P3: A witch! (P1: a witch)(P2: a witch)(all: a witch!)
V: We shall use my largest scales.
(V jumps down)
(walk over while cheering)
(push her into scale)
V: Right, remove the stops!
(wait while scales remains still)
All: A witch! burn her burn her!!

I just noticed this re the script by Mark. My thread is at viewtopic.php?f=5&t=96795 re the game.

Oski Wee Wee,