An Open Letter to Us

Hi Everybody,

A bit of a counselling perspective on what’s been happening on these Boards over the last couple of months. I think we’ve entered a slightly new phase. Let me comment.

On this Board we are an extended family… and we’ve mostly sorted out our relationships. Every once in a while a new person comes on Board and we have to adjust to them, or crazy Uncle George wakes up and starts spouting nonsense, or little fights break out. The pessimists and the optimists, the intellectuals and the emotional, the knowledgeable and the untrained, all sort of know their place. We generally survive contact with each other and our greater ‘familyhood’ keeps us together.

But into all families come changed circumstances. A patriarch dies, a key member moves, a disruptive person joins… and we have to rearrange ourselves and that’s uncomfortable.

Families also have myths that keep them together… stories that describe who they are… tales from history that sit in the background and inform decisions.

That’s us. We’re a sort of family.

And now an incredible disruption has come into the family.
We’re winning.
We’re bullies.
We’re the beasts from the east.
We’re overcoming adversity.
Our story of being lovable and hard-working losers had slid away.

And it’s messing with our psyches and our relationships.
We’re noticing each other’s personalities and their responses to situations more than we are hearing their comments.

Crash- if I may be so bold as to mention you because we’ve interacted for years. You’ve been quite critical of aspects of the club in the past. Now you want us to stop and appreciate the new state of affairs. That’s your personality, I’m guessing. You adjust to situations in a certain way. And you give good advice. We need to.

But…

Me, I’m a bloody mix of optimist for others and pessimist for myself. But since I have an emotional connection to the Cats I always feel pessimistic about them. That’s been strongly influenced by history. So I find myself constantly wondering when the sky will fall on this team. IF we keep this up for a couple of years I’m pretty sure I’ll adjust. But it’s hard man, it’s hard.

Adjustment IS hard for most of us. Sometimes we aren’t even aware of how it affects us.

Right now ALL of us on this board are sorting out our emotions regarding our change of circumstance. For someone like me it’s a great time because I can sit back and observe and analyze. I’ve even stopped most of my silly stuff during this period because I usually use humour to deal with bad times and things have been going stinking good this year overall.

I see a call for fan cockiness and half of me says, ‘time to feel good about ourselves’ while the other half of me remembers how much I hated that in other teams and wants to avoid it. I’m not about revenge of getting my own back. Others feel more keenly on these points.

I guess all I’m doing is asking for a little charity, a little self-awareness, and a little commitment to our overall purpose and central myth---- that the Cats are worthy of our care, attention, and even devotion. Then we can fight like family! But one that respects its members. We’re all different… and that’s what makes this forum worth reading.

All the best everyone. Oski-wee-wee!

Crazy old Mark

There’s people who have had to endure many misfortunes in their lives. I happen to know a few.

As a result they traverse through life with “cautious optimism” and NOT as “defeatist mopes” as some narcissists will have you believe.

BIG difference.

Mark, I so appreciated your letter!

I’ve been on this board for over 10 years, but I have only been brave enough recently to up my commenting contributions. A lot of it had to do with some of the vitriol towards some posters that I noticed coming from a few of the more “expert” contributors who claim to be knowledgeable in every facet of the game. Some of us may not be as astute as others, but deep down we all bleed “black and gold”. In my case, I love this board; I usually have it open on my ipad during televised games to see how others are reacting to the plays.

My advice to those who like to respond and criticize other commenters (especially those of us labelled as “Starters”) is to “chill a little”. Perhaps adding a little humour to your posts might do that.

Peace out…

Crash- if I may be so bold as to mention you because we've interacted for years. You've been quite critical of aspects of the club in the past. Now you want us to stop and appreciate the new state of affairs. That's your personality, I'm guessing. You adjust to situations in a certain way. And you give good advice. We need to.

But…

Me, I’m a bloody mix of optimist for others and pessimist for myself. But since I have an emotional connection to the Cats I always feel pessimistic about them. That’s been strongly influenced by history. So I find myself constantly wondering when the sky will fall on this team. IF we keep this up for a couple of years I’m pretty sure I’ll adjust. But it’s hard man, it’s hard.


Mark,
Appreciate the comments.
The standard of this team/franchise hasn’t been top level for at least 20 years. We have had more downs than ups and of course it takes its toll on everyone.

The dynamic of all message boards involves a little tit for tat element, but when someone posts as if they want the team to fail in order to be right - im going to point it out. (Maybe that’s just my nature).

Nobody actually wants the team to lose - but people’s “online” personas tend to go there.

One thing about me personally - you will rarely see me take a side and fall on the sword for it. And if I do and im wrong i’ll be the first to admit it. (I was wrong about the Collaros/Masoli situation).

I literally went back at one point and looked at the predictions threads for last year and this year. A certain poster (No need to name) predicted we would lose 17 consecutive times, most by blowout. (Don’t make fun of me, numbers is what I do). Over that span we won 12 of those games.

Now you tell me with 22 wins in 2 seasons how you cant feel like we’re going to win ONE TIME - deserves the benefit of the doubt for being anything other than negative doom and gloom. Hell since 1950 we’re a .480 team - we should win once in a while.

To be blunt - if you are going to be negative all the time - you are likely going to get called out on it. You don’t have to respond, you can choose to ignore/block/etc. And I respect your ability/right to do so. But once you respond, you’re engaging in discussion. its never personal, It cant be. (Ive only ever met 2-3 members of this board in person). We have the largest community by far - its going to happen. Like fights at an NFL game - the more people that gather, the more disagreement you’ll have. Go to the riderfans board - its 10x worse with name calling, insults, etc.

Mark - I responded because I also respect you and your contribution to the board, and can tell you’re as big a fan as anyone. You don’t think I sit around and wonder “what if we lose the EF?” “What if Evans gets hurt playing a meaningless game?” - more importantly “Wouldn’t that just be our luck?”

But I also believe that curses, bad luck, etc don’t exist. You make your own luck. If we lose the EF or the GC its because of one reason - we were not the better team that day. Not the refs, not history, not bad luck, or not the ghost of Kent Austin.

i’ll sum up my response with this.

I urge everyone to enjoy the ride. Its been a historical season and im disappointed that some people have spent the majority of it fearful that its a hoax, or that it will all come crashing down Nov 17th.

This is the best Hamilton Tiger Cats team ever assembled. We should be acting like it!

(And if that isnt enough, use the Foe/Friend’s list - I have a few people i choose not to read anymore.)

And THIS is how a good family discusses things.:slight_smile:

…at the grey cup parade, we should have a designated spot for all posters…to congratulate each other.

Having two of my favourite teams win a championship in a single year hasn’t happened since 1986.
Cats can make it happen again in 2019.

If one cant seperate their personal life from the simple past time of supporting a sports team there isnt much to say other than I feel sorry for that person for not being able to do so.

Hi Dork,

And you have a genuine right to feel sorry for them- although they may just feel that it has been part of their personality formation or that your feelings toward them are patronizing.

That right there can lead to dissension and even anger. Or we can just force ourselves to accept that other people are different from us and as long as they remain within the social boundaries that our family/community accepts that they have a right to be mopes, or giddy optimists, or somewhat cranky, or even supposed know-it-alls who lecture other people on personality and relationships! (Well maybe not that last group!)

Self-awareness is so critical. I love it when I have it but it slips away so easily…

Yes Im patronizing.

Its either that or I use more accurate, pointed words to describe them which would make them cry and would end up with me being banned.

So Ill leave it at that.

Again, right now we are discussing how each of us ‘feels’. My last word is that I hope we can all step back and take a larger view. Note that I didn’t say that you WERE patronizing, but that some - from within their own shell - could feel that you were. (Just like I could be accused of being patronizing toward you right now. I’m trying not to be but I genuinely understand that you could feel that way.)

It’s what we DO with our stinking emotions that’s important.

My initial point is getting lost here though.

It’s that there has been a disruption in our community life because something wonderfully good has happened and we are all adjusting to it at different rates and in different ways. While there are still the ‘crazy uncles’ who will ALWAYS frustrate us incredibly, most of us just need others to shake their heads at us gently and say, “Boy, I’m glad I can see things more clearly than him/her.” :slight_smile:

Dork, I don’t get it. Why choose to be that person?

Outstanding post Mark.

Go Cats!

Hi Mark,

Self-awareness involves knowing your weaknesses as well as your strengths. Those that ignore their mistakes or are blinded by their own ego and pride never evolve.

During every post-game interview the coach says, “Yeah the win was great, I’m proud of my guys but we left some points on the field and we have some things to clean up”.

So why can Orlondo point these things out without being criticized but the rest of us are not allowed to?

I think back to some people I’ve known and how they responded to situations.

One guy doing a house reno with a deadline stopped working to take a break when a particular room was finished early and beautifully.

He was pressed to keep going but his only answer was, “Be quiet. I want to stop and enjoy this.”

Some of us on this board are like that. Others won’t rest until we win it all.

Me? I figure that substandard materials were probably used and the house will never pass inspection.

Overall we need to give each other some grace. The self-understanding comes in us knowing how our personalities are taken by others. Then we can moderate our own comments and actions appropriately without losing who we are or shat we believe.

Because he is 14 - 3 as a head coach and we aren’t? (He has earned the right and we haven’t).

excellent answer.

but we have members here who I KNOW think they know more than our coach.

This coach? debatable

Last coach? You could make a really good argument that long time CFL fans knew more about game management.

When long time CFL fans have a 14 - 3 record as Head Coaches I will happily agree with you. Until then I won’t argue with success. (Some of the things he says need to be cleaned up might include game management. I don’t know, but it might be reasonable to assume. Having said that, has game management cost us any wins this year? (I don’t remember)).

agree completely. Coach O has surrounded himself with a great group. VERY few complaints from me on game management (and im a stickler for that).

June Jones was horrible at managing a game. I have no problem saying that long-time football fans that have watched this league forever could manage a game better than June Jones.

When all is said and done (and then maybe re-said), we are all simply Tiger Cat fans who want to see our team play hard, and of course, win. Orlondo mentions almost every press scrum that the “perfect game? has never been played, and probably never well be. All he expects is for the players to play up to the standards that he and they have set for the team.

I feel that that is a reasonable expectation for we fans as well. Nor do I have a problem with fans expressing their concerns and worries when they feel the team has maybe not done so, or when they expresses their worries about upcoming games or opponents. You have to care about your team winning or losing. Otherwise, you might just as well watch the weekly highlight shows?