Als Acquire Famous International Running Back

Père Noël

The MontrealAlouettesannounced that North Pole native running back,Père Noël, has signed a deal of countless years with the club. Members of the organization say that they are thrilled to have been able to come to an agreement with such a strong and reliable player to cap off the year.

Noël(6’5’’, 280 pounds) took part in the Svalbard Elves training camp immediately after graduating from the University of Lapland many, many years ago. Although he only started one game per season, he was able to maintain an average of exactly 43,869,082 yards every year. Unmatched leader, Noël then took the reindeers (oops, the reins, sorry) of the franchise as Head Coach and General Manager. Him and his disciples have delivered the goods ever since, spreading joy and magic across the world. His comeback bodes well for theAlouetteswho will certainly take advantage of his speed and size to find openings in opposing defenses.


Very inclusive ! They signed him in spite of him dropping six tons of Coal on Reed and Andrew’s front lawns.

Pennies from heaven, great news for sure!

But hmm. Wonder if his final signing was at all linked to Québec’s $250M commitment to roof repairs for the Big O. Makes sense, i guess.
…esp when they can amortize it over a ‘countless years’ contract.
But geez, that crooked chimbley-thing still looks like he’ll get quite the tushie-burn on the way into the stadium. They’re gonna have to fix that.

Peace out. :slight_smile:

Noel is overweight and on the wrong side of 30. Joe Mack is really desperate! :slight_smile:

And I hear he has it in his contract that he only has to work one night a year. It`s known as the Santa clause.::slight_smile:

Joe Mack, is hoping Noel will introduce him to some of the best elvish prospects in the nation.